It has evolved into a cultural phenomenon and shorthand for anything that brings a person joy. In the years since the book was published, the term “love languages” has been tossed around with such abandon that it has become disconnected from its creator. They are words of affirmation (verbal compliments), quality time (doing something together and being focused in that moment), receiving gifts (anything from a spontaneous bouquet of flowers to more significant presents), acts of service (helping your partner with chores or cooking a meal) and physical touch (holding hands, sex and everything in between). Chapman based the five love languages on anecdotal evidence he found while working as a marriage counselor at his church for more than 20 years. No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other.ĭr. Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. Chapman explained, and in order to make your partner feel loved, you simply need to speak that person’s language. Then, three decades ago, Gary Chapman, a 50-year-old Southern Baptist pastor with a doctorate in adult education, introduced the concept to the world with his seminal book, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.” People have different ways of expressing and understanding love, Dr. It wasn’t always this way there was a time when the words “love” and “language” were rarely combined and certainly not used as a stand-alone noun.
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